Image from Fulya Celik
When we think of femininity, we used to think of the frilly connotations that come with becoming a woman enforced by decades and decades of people dictating what women should be— coming from people who have no idea what it's like to be one.
With the ongoing tide of empowerment, supported by the struggle of breaking stereotypes by women who came before us, we began to shift the narrative more and more to our side. We begin to see more women redefine what was set up by our society. We've started seeing women take charge; taking up more leadership roles, and moving within our community to make changes. The 'girl boss' culture pretty much flourished, making the statement that women can do what men do- and have been capable ever since.
However, with the 'girl boss' culture dying down and a more diverse set of women defining what a strong woman is, we're offered a new way to look at how we could further embrace being a woman. Gone should be the days where thinking 'powerful woman' meant one definition. Often, a definition excludes vulnerability and sensitivity— words that we associate with being feminine. We now know that to be a woman is not to choose between polar opposites but to have the choice to sit in that gray area where we could be both— because it is and has always been possible.
Aside from the freedom we get to reconstructing what a woman should be, what else do we get out of embracing that fact about femininity?
You accept yourself even more.
Image from Malababa
We remember very clearly that one moment in time where we thought that being busy 24/7, celebrating that once-a-month self-care day was the pinnacle of being that kind of woman. Without realizing it, we haven't caught one breath. We left no time to have a moment to ourselves to reflect on things that we haven't realized mattered at the time.
We did not take kindly to admitting that we are human at the end of the day. We get tired, and we get upset. We go through bad days. When we finally confess we experience those, we brush them under the rug or get frustrated. All because we refused to associate a powerful woman with what was deemed too feminine as weak. In truth, nothing is more powerful than a woman who knows she can thrive and still be kind to herself (and others.)
You give more strength to women.
Saying that there's one definition of a strong woman automatically excludes others who don't exactly fit in the mold without knowing it.
A strong woman doesn't have to have a CEO title or a bustling life where she's always on the go. A strong woman could be a mother, a wife. A strong woman can also feel comfortable being a follower rather than a leader. A strong woman can be a woman who feels more comfortable expressing themselves in ways the society deems 'unconventional.'
Suffice to say, strong women come in different ways, and you empower them by embracing femininity in all types of suits. You empower them by standing with them and hoping for their progress without judgment because you know that a Woman in Progress is for other women's progress as well.
You make sure everyone embraces femininity.
Image from Puls Ceramics
Embracing femininity is not embracing being 'weak and vulnerable.' It's accepting that you can and get to be both. When we focus our attention on this, we normalize that definition beyond our community as women. We shift to something bigger.
For years, it's often thought that self-care is a woman's territory. When we see men engaging in the world of self-care (sometimes even emotions), we often make assumptions that harm not only men but women, too. Proliferating that culture says two things. One: that men aren't allowed to be feminine. And two, being feminine means weakness. That is why men who exhibit what society deems feminine are picked on or viewed like relics on display. It became so normalized that we (yes, even women) unconsciously pass it on, even to little boys and girls. That does not promote progress for both parties.
What can we do?
Start small and start close.
If you have children, allow them to explore. Push beyond the labels of what's for boys and girls; the pinks and blues. The little things we say matter more than we know when a little boy or girl cries. Or when they get picked on at school. These, however small, could make the changes that lead to something better for them in the future.
If you have friends, partners, or husbands, ask them how they are from time to time to let them express how they feel. Invite them out with your regular self-care sessions. Introduce them to pampering sessions and let them see how regularly speaking of feelings and taking care of yourself eases whatever heaviness they might not talk about.
Woman (or man) in progress, there's a treat meant for you. Shift your attention to your femininity (aka your absolute power to be anything you want to be) with treatments that care enough to take your progress in. Start either from the foundation or to something more tailored to you and your needs. Either way, each one is guaranteed to let you own your good skin and its potential to be better. No need to choose between polar opposites here, too.
Thumbnail from Simply Skin