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When we think about our journeys to progress, we tend to have an individualistic view of how we go through them. Whenever we think of replenishing our wellness levels— we often associate it with a self-isolating approach.
While going through our individual journey does involve a lot of self-work and introspection that requires time alone, nothing feels better than feeling connected and supported by people along the way. There's scientific proof that as inherently social creatures, genuine togetherness improves the overall quality of life. That means the right connections and relationships can tap a higher level of happiness and wellness that a journey on our own could never quite tap.
As adults, it might feel like more of a challenge to understand if every relationship we own impacts our journey positively. Nurture these top three relationships (try to think of who they are in your life on the way)— and find out how to take care of them:
Your Neighbors-in-Life.
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Come in the form of favorite colleagues, online book club co-members, and that familiar face at your favorite hobby places.
When we think of nurturing relationships, people from our outer circles never usually come up in our priorities. However, there's so much potential in those little encounters that we often underestimate.
We often work towards the same goal and find interest in similar things with our Neighbors in Life. Anyone can feel the difference between talking about a routine experience from work or class with the other key relationships we hold and an entirely different aspect of connectedness when we live an experience **with our Neighbors in Life. Aside from that, the feeling of community gives us space to learn. It's from our neighbors in life that we get pearls of knowledge, life tips, and the underrated joy of picking up a thing or two without the pretenses or pressure.
Your Drivers.
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Come in the form of your spontaneous friends, the group's voice of reason, and your chosen family.
Comfort is the base keyword when we think of relationships in all forms, but a little nudge outside our comfort zone is what would open doors for us.
That is why Your Drivers are essential. Although they might not give us the answers we want, they give us a perspective we might need. It's natural for us to want frictionless conversations and to expect unwavering support in our relationships. That's why whenever we're given advice or options that don't necessarily align with what we want to hear, we're in defense mode or take it as a sign that our drivers are against us. Instead, they might be looking at a different angle in your bigger picture (we tend to hyperfocus on just one!) Sometimes they know you have an opportunity to widen your experience & grow.
Your Soulmates.
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Come in the form of your romantic and platonic relationships.
Among other relationships we value are those we can bear our souls to and share life's joys to make the journey a little easier.
Your soulmates may come in the form of a lover or your greatest friends. Contrary to common associations, your soulmates don't necessarily have to be romantic, nor do they have to be confined to just one person. Try to think of the people we can easily share our deepest secrets and thoughts with or those to whom you could be your truest & simplest self.
How to connect and nurture these connections
Make an effort. Marisa Franco stated that to have connections that will fulfill us, we have to make an effort. She said that with the need and underlying difficulty people might have as adults in making connections, it's time to accept that not all things will come organically, and to make the most out of the relationships you have, we need to put in the extra work. Ask people questions. Take them out for coffee. Plan unique shared experiences.
Aim to value, not to impress. Marisa also shares that we often feel like we have to show or tell people about the best versions of ourselves (we can’t be on forever.) We want to impress, but that's often a shaky ground to build relationships unto. Instead, she advised pouring attention into making people around us feel valued. Think: how often do we tell people we admire them for who they are and what they do? How do you think it would make them feel if we started doing it more often?
Allow them to show up for you. Often we unconsciously skip the part where we communicate how we would like other people to support us in our time of need. Let's make it a common practice to allow people to show up for us. Let's signal tough times ahead, bear vulnerabilities and communicate discomfort. With how life could be, people can’t hold our realistic expectations when they don't know what they are. Give them a chance to be there for you. It's in this way that we allow people to support us in a way we want, in the way they can.
Give yourself a moment to assess your key relationships right now. Which one of our key players in life overlaps roles? Which ones are we in need of finding more and which one needs a sprinkling of attention?