Image from Maddie
Whenever we face a sudden pause or a rut, our first thoughts naturally gravitate to stopping at our tracks.
When this happens, we often think that what we've been doing has been a total failure, that something is wrong with us, or whatever we've been working on, no matter how hard we go at it, has been for nothing. We find these thoughts prevailing, especially when we've been on a roll or when we've been so good at following our routines, to-do lists, and plans.
We don't even have to look hard or far. Ever remember the time when we miss a workout after a week of doing it consistently or those moments where we can't seem to move forward with an idea when we've been churning out good ones regularly? These all seem like setbacks to us. Moments that make us think, "what if I just can't seem to stick to a routine?" or "what if I'm not as good as I thought I was?" These are natural thoughts, and you're not alone when you feel doubt creeping in at first sight of a setback. We, unfortunately, don't have that reflex to dodge these thoughts as much as we want to. So, how do we move from there?
Reclaim the definition of setbacks
Image from Fine Art America
Setbacks never had flowery connotations. But we can practice control over how we see them and what we do from there.
By definition, setbacks were never full stops at what we aim to do. Like driving down a road, setbacks are the little humps we have to go through; signals that we need to slow down for our own good. In our everyday life, this is how we should start seeing setbacks. They're moments that force us to hit a pause when we haven't for a while to see the bigger picture—a time to reflect and assess how we've been doing so far and if these things are still aligned or appropriate for what we want to achieve.
Often, these could also look like signals for our needs. They're gentle reminders to heed to them since we're slowly, but surely, treading on the road to progress.
Acknowledging these as calls to slow down and re-assess our needs and how we've been doing so far is the first step to embracing setbacks as signs of progress. How? It means we're constantly growing. Growing sometimes means change— a change of ways, routine, or how we see things. Although circumstances call for us to take a step back, it always signals an opportunity to tread forward, carrying something better with us.
Find out what it means
Image from Behance
Now that we've conditioned our minds not to jump the gun and see setbacks as a sign of ultimate failure, it's essential not to stop there for our setbacks to mean something.
Whenever you go through a setback, try to retrace your steps. How far have you come, and what steps did you take to get to where you are now? Are the steps you're doing matching up to your current goals, lifestyle, and needs? If they are, what other factors came into play recently that might have changed, and how can you anticipate them?
If the steps aren't in line with your current situation anymore, the best way to address it is to move toward something that does. You don't need to keep going at it when you know it doesn't align with what you want and where you want to go. Let go if you need to, it'll be for the better you.
Understand it'll be a process
Image from Janne Wellens
Your next few steps will revolve around what you understand from the setbacks you'll go through. Try to make sure they're specific and approach them with the trust that these changes will contribute to the bigger picture. It's then that you'll see that these setbacks mean more than just a slow down.
We can practice these in the small things and let them flourish in the other aspects of our lives, but remember that it will be a process. We can learn how to be ready, but we also should be open to the idea that some setbacks won't look the same. Try to find comfort in the fact that your willingness to try and make meaning out of it to do, see and feel better sometimes means more than the act of overcoming the setbacks, too. It is a signal of growing and not just going.
There are lots of things in life that we can't fully take control of, but one thing we can is how we see these circumstances and make meaning out of them. It's only then that we get to move accordingly and take specific actions that allow us to feel and see better— may it be for skin to within.
Thumbnail from Behance and Fine Art America